hell is literally when the bottom of your foot itches but if you scratch it it tickles
(via thoughts-ofnothing)
big booty bitches.
I don't watch pretty little liars and i don't like fandoms.
“HONEY”
“WHAT”
“WHERE’S MY SPEECH NOTES”
“WHAT”
“WHERE. ARE. MY. SPEECH. NOTES.”
“I UHHHH. ORGANISED THEM.”
“WHAT?!”
“WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW.”
“I NEED THEM”
“UH UH DON’T YOU THINK ABOUT PRACTISING THAT SPEECH TONIGHT I’VE BEEN PLANNING THIS DINNER FOR MONTHS”
“BUT AMERICA IS IN NEED”
“MY STOMACH IS IN NEED OF THAT FANCY DINNER.”
“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SPEECH IS WOMAN THIS IS FOR INTERNATIONAL JUSTICE”
“I’M MICHELLE OBAMA. I INVENTED JUSTICE.”
how weird is it to have pets though like a random animal just lives in your house and you can’t communicate with it but you both just accept it
(via thoughts-ofnothing)
i was supposed to go to bed an hour ago dont tell my mom
my mom says i have to go to bed now which one of u meaners told
who the fudge changed ‘fudgers’ to ‘meaners’
WHO CHANGED IT FROM FENNEKINS TO FUDGERS I WILL KISS THE POPSICLE DON’T TESTICLE METATRON
(via rnozzarellasticks)
(via nerdycommunity)
when guys talk about how gross periods are i just laugh because guys have a floppy piece of flesh that gets hard and that’s pretty fuckin weird, bucko
(via welcometowanderland)
If I was a guy for a day,
I would:
- Masturbate.
- Hug a girl to see if it’s true that they can feel their boobs.
- Walk around the house naked.
- Pee behind a building.
- Ask someone to kick me in the balls to see how painful some boys say it hurts.
- Yell at girls at the mall saying, “CAN I HOLLA FOR A DOLLA?”
- Stare at my penis.
- Get a blowjob.
you seem to think that getting a blowjob is easy
it is not
(via mommaraptor)
